Things That Terrify Me

Mirrors At Night

Everyone knows that mirrors are actually portals into another dimension populated with awful mirror people and able to reflect the dead that walk among us. Night is the perfect time for them to freak the loving shit out of you by revealing the emaciated dead girl that likes to hang out behind you, or for your mirror-ganger to show up with inky black pools where the eyes should be.

 

Ghost Children

There is nothing quite so unsettling as perverted innocence, plus you KNOW they died some horrible death. The old lady that moves your pots around probably had a good long life and died surrounded by her children, she’s just confused because they ended up fighting over her inheritance. The above mentioned emaciated dead girl, however, was locked in the attic for six years, clawed out her own organs and thinks you’re her Mommy.

 

Anthropomorphic Mascots

You and I both know there’s a 65-year-old sex pervert with a dirt-floored torture-dungeon in that bunny suit, and he is touching himself CONSTANTLY.

 

Clowns

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

 

 

Ghosts You Can Only See Through Video Cameras

The criminally butchered 1999 remake of “House on Haunted Hill” scared the living hell out of me the first time I saw it for this reason and this reason alone. It also made me afraid of weird jerky sped-up film movement. My love of this film is only one of the reasons I can never be a film critic.

“Gee, this abandoned insane asylum sure is spooky”

“I’m really glad there are no ghosts in here, that would be really—”

“OH SHIT”

“GHOST SURGERY”